Things not going your way? Good!

So first I just want to apologise for this post being a day late.  I have been really busy this weekend rebranding.  I hope you all like it and would love to hear your opinions on it.

Okay, so you are all probably thinking I’m mad. How is it a good thing when things don’t go your way?  Well let’s be honest, things can’t go our way all the time, if they did we would never grow or learn from anything, so we might as well embrace it and use it as an opportunity to take a step back, re-evaluate and take back control.

If you have found yourself complaining about something not going right lately, then good. You have noticed that something isn’t working and now you can find a way to change this.

Think about it for a second, a lot of us like to complain about our problems and blame everyone and everything else rather than take responsibility for them.  This is easier to do because it means that we just have to sit back and deal with it.  We use phrases like “oh well, there’s nothing I can do about it” or “It just wasn’t meant to be”.  Wrong!  It just wasn’t meant to be that way.

When we take full responsibility for our problems then they become an opportunity.  When we take full responsibility we are not blaming ourselves, sometimes circumstances may just be unfortunate and not work in our favour.  But what we are doing is saying that we are the only ones responsible for changing these circumstances, and when we do this we hold all the power.  I don’t know about you but that is definitely something that I like the thought of.

I always used to complain to my mum about how I have to do everything the hard way and how things just seem to come easier to my friends.  She always told me that I would appreciate things more.  The one thing it taught me was that I can do anything I set my mind to and that there is always a way to get to where you want to be (okay, two things).  And I know that sounds a bit cliché but it really is true.

I never liked school. In fact I hated it.  I had a lot of time off due to operations and hospital appointments so I fell behind a lot.  Because of this teachers made out that I wouldn’t do too well so I didn’t really try, I didn’t see the point if I wasn’t going to do well anyway.  So the last two years of school all of my friends were talking about going to college and university and I didn’t even give it a second thought.  So I sat my GCSEs, and to be honest I didn’t do too bad considering I hadn’t really tried, and then I left school.  When I left school something clicked with me and to this day I couldn’t tell you what it was, but I was determined.  I had always wanted to be a lawyer, so I decided that’s what I am going to do.  If I could get ok grades on my GCSEs without trying then I’m sure if I put my mind to something I could do whatever I wanted.  There was only one problem though, I only got a D in English (I hated Shakespeare, I just couldn’t get my head around it).  So rather than just accepting this I called up a local college, spoke to them and explained the situation and they said I could resit my English GCSE with them and then go on to do my A levels (I didn’t actually end up doing A levels but we will get onto that).  So I went back to college and re-sat my English GCSE (and I was getting all As and A*s).

After I re-sat my English GCSE I went on to do a Legal Secretary course as I thought this suited me better than A Levels and I knew I could get into university from doing that.  I loved that course, getting distinctions in all of my course work and overall just proved to me again that I could do this.  I don’t know why I ever doubted myself.

Then it come to putting in my applications for university.  I spent days on my application and I put in for four universities that were close to home as I didn’t want to move away.  Hearing back was the worst day.  All of my friends and people I knew were getting offers from all of their choices and I got rejected from every single one of my applications.  I cried for days.  I had put in so much hard work.  But I wasn’t going to let it all be for nothing.  I called up my first choice, Liverpool John Moores University, and I am not kidding when I say this but I was so upset that I cried to the lady on the phone and they agreed to meet with me to talk about my application.  So I went to the meeting and by the end of it I walked out with a place on the Law degree at LJMU.

That was a good day.  I could have easily given up when I left school, or when I didn’t get into university but I took responsibility for the things I wanted, even though at the time I felt like everything was against me.

So think about whatever it is that isn’t going your way at the moment.  It may be that your business is not taking off like you hoped it would, or that you don’t have enough money for the premises you want.  Or that you don’t have the right qualifications to do what you want to do.  Whatever it is, no matter how small or big just take a moment to really think about it.  Think about all of the circumstances around it.  Think about all of the people involved.  Now think about what you can do to take back control.

What is it that you are responsible for?  I can guarantee that it is a lot more than you initially thought.

Now that you have really thought about your problem and your responsibility make a list of all of the things that you can do to change the situation.  Write down 20 things that you could do, the sillier the better (sometimes it can be the silly ideas that turn out to be the best ones).  Once you have got your list, choose five of the actions that you can take within the next week.

Try them and see what happens!  You’re the only one who can make things happen.

I would love to hear how you have all got on with this in the comments box below.

Chelsi x

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